Amy has been doing so great this week. She has definitely had some icky moments, but her overall cooperation has really been great.
I think I feel like the NFB has given her a little "jump start" to growing up. I feel like we can have more mature conversations, that she is able to think more logically, and that she is able to solve her own problems.
For years, when Amy has encountered a problem, her immediate response is to whine and/or melt down. We have been trying and trying to teach her to pause and think when something unexpected comes up, but she just can't. This past week, however, I have noticed a change. For example (small thing, but big for us!) she wanted to watch a television program, but it was after her bedtime. She started to whine, stopped, and said, "Oh, well, can you record it for me?"
Sure we can. And that was that. Huh.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
Better?
I don't know what was going on last week, but things seem to be better again. In the past few days we've had some good things, and bad things, but overall, Amy seems pretty calm. She's had fewer tantrums, and those she does have she is able to calm down faster. Incidents of note:
1) So we got a puppy. I know -- brilliant timing, right? So far, pup has been doing really well. We were (are) hoping that the puppy will help Amy with some of her sensory issues (she needs to be brushed regularly, played with, walked, etc). So far, Gwyn has done an awesome job at taking care of the dog, but Amy is VERY nervous around her. She is a 3 pound, super calm and gentle Maltese/Shih-Tzu mix. Puppies really don't come much mellower, but Amy gets very tense whenever the puppy comes close to her. It's kind of funny to watch, because she really loves the dog a lot -- she just loves watching other people play with her. Gwyn and Micah are happy to oblige. :) Of course, the question is, what is she afraid of? We can't figure it out, really.
2) It's Amy's birthday week. She has been begging me to tell her what her gifts are for days, because she can't stand the nervous feeling of not knowing. This isn't the same kind of hopeful begging most kids have. It is a tearful, afraid begging. She just REALLY hates surprises.
3) Amy seems like she is doing better, though. She's been playing much better with Gwyn and Micah. One problem we have been having is her sprawling all over the couch, and not giving anyone else space. She didn't like to sit in our living room chair, because the foot rest always slid away. We solved that problem by tying the footrest to the chair, moving the whole contraption to a more central place in the TV room, re-arranging the rest of the furniture (a little awkwardly, but, hey...), and declaring that her spot. I can't believe the difference that move has made! The flow of the family room is not so good anymore, but the peace is worth it.
So, overall, writing this I guess I'm realizing that we seem to be shifting from major problems that clearly need outside help, to normal kid problems. It's kind of hard to know the difference at this stage, and sometimes I feel like because we have had all these other issues that I blow "normal" issues out of proportion (like putting off doing her homework or not putting her backpack away).
Long post to say not much is happening. :)
1) So we got a puppy. I know -- brilliant timing, right? So far, pup has been doing really well. We were (are) hoping that the puppy will help Amy with some of her sensory issues (she needs to be brushed regularly, played with, walked, etc). So far, Gwyn has done an awesome job at taking care of the dog, but Amy is VERY nervous around her. She is a 3 pound, super calm and gentle Maltese/Shih-Tzu mix. Puppies really don't come much mellower, but Amy gets very tense whenever the puppy comes close to her. It's kind of funny to watch, because she really loves the dog a lot -- she just loves watching other people play with her. Gwyn and Micah are happy to oblige. :) Of course, the question is, what is she afraid of? We can't figure it out, really.
2) It's Amy's birthday week. She has been begging me to tell her what her gifts are for days, because she can't stand the nervous feeling of not knowing. This isn't the same kind of hopeful begging most kids have. It is a tearful, afraid begging. She just REALLY hates surprises.
3) Amy seems like she is doing better, though. She's been playing much better with Gwyn and Micah. One problem we have been having is her sprawling all over the couch, and not giving anyone else space. She didn't like to sit in our living room chair, because the foot rest always slid away. We solved that problem by tying the footrest to the chair, moving the whole contraption to a more central place in the TV room, re-arranging the rest of the furniture (a little awkwardly, but, hey...), and declaring that her spot. I can't believe the difference that move has made! The flow of the family room is not so good anymore, but the peace is worth it.
So, overall, writing this I guess I'm realizing that we seem to be shifting from major problems that clearly need outside help, to normal kid problems. It's kind of hard to know the difference at this stage, and sometimes I feel like because we have had all these other issues that I blow "normal" issues out of proportion (like putting off doing her homework or not putting her backpack away).
Long post to say not much is happening. :)
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Never Mind...
The past few days have been pretty frustrating around here. It seems like all the progress Amy has made in the past few weeks has left the building. Since Saturday, she has had numerous tantrums (including a few where she was kicking, biting, hitting and pinching me or her sibs), she has had a lot of trouble controlling her squirminess, she has been very frustrated with everyone around her and even her good moods have a "manic" feel to them.
Grrrrrrrr.....
Gram (God bless Gram) is taking her to an appointment with the Good Doc tomorrow since I am teaching. I'll be there to pick her up, but she is not going to be happy about that.
Mike has noticed a few times where she has cleaned something up without a fight, or where she has shown some cooperation.
Most of our problems this week have come from transitions (straight from school to piano, getting ready for school) or personal space (unable to share the couch, can't sit next to someone without sitting on them, etc.)
So there's that.
Grrrrrrrr.....
Gram (God bless Gram) is taking her to an appointment with the Good Doc tomorrow since I am teaching. I'll be there to pick her up, but she is not going to be happy about that.
Mike has noticed a few times where she has cleaned something up without a fight, or where she has shown some cooperation.
Most of our problems this week have come from transitions (straight from school to piano, getting ready for school) or personal space (unable to share the couch, can't sit next to someone without sitting on them, etc.)
So there's that.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Critical Thinking
I haven't posted much this week, mostly because things have been running really quite smoothly. Amy had a treatment this morning, and when the Good Doc asked me how things have been going, I realized that I can't remember a single temper tantrum since Monday. So really, all week she has been pleasant, compliant, and calm.
He also asked what other differences I have noticed, and overall I could only say that she seems calmer. Her hyper "I'm so excited!!" mode has not been overwhelming, as it can be at times. When he asked Amy how she was feeling, she clammed up, though, and wouldn't talk. I really wish she would let me in on how she is feeling! Her behavior seems to be reflecting a much calmer inner attitude.
The temper tantrum on Monday was a result of a homework problem. This year in social studies she has to read a passage and then answer questions about what she read. Particularly, she has to answer "Critical Thinking" questions, where the answer isn't explicitly laid out in the reading.
Ha! The question she struggled with was, "Why do you think a person has to be 18 years old to vote?" Since she had no idea, she panicked, and no amount of talking her through a thought process was helping. Her only thought was "12 and 15 year olds can understand politics, so they should be allowed to vote!"
After screaming and rolling on the floor for about 1/2 an hour, she finally decided to write something down.
I can't wait for the next assignment!!
He also asked what other differences I have noticed, and overall I could only say that she seems calmer. Her hyper "I'm so excited!!" mode has not been overwhelming, as it can be at times. When he asked Amy how she was feeling, she clammed up, though, and wouldn't talk. I really wish she would let me in on how she is feeling! Her behavior seems to be reflecting a much calmer inner attitude.
The temper tantrum on Monday was a result of a homework problem. This year in social studies she has to read a passage and then answer questions about what she read. Particularly, she has to answer "Critical Thinking" questions, where the answer isn't explicitly laid out in the reading.
Ha! The question she struggled with was, "Why do you think a person has to be 18 years old to vote?" Since she had no idea, she panicked, and no amount of talking her through a thought process was helping. Her only thought was "12 and 15 year olds can understand politics, so they should be allowed to vote!"
After screaming and rolling on the floor for about 1/2 an hour, she finally decided to write something down.
I can't wait for the next assignment!!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Ups and Downs
We had a busy weekend, so it was an interesting experiment to see how Amy did. Overall, she is really progressing. When comparing this weekend to last weekend (remember the soccer game? Oy.), we are in a much better place. I keep finding myself shocked at little things she does, like compliment my hair, or help Gwyn with a project, or cooperate when I ask her to help out. She's even given some spontaneous kisses and hugs. Weird, I didn't really notice that she didn't do that often until she started to.
She's becoming fun to be around!
We did have a few incidents this weekend that weren't so good. She flew into a rage with her dad (who really wants his own pseudonym, so I'm going to call him Mike). I didn't quite catch what it was about, but she wound up in her room for a while. There have been some whiney times and defiant times, but almost all of them are resolved rather quickly. It's like she realizes it's immature halfway through.
Church has been a pretty squirmy place for Amy, historically. At our church, children sit through the service with the adults, and then go to Sunday School. Usually, by the end of the service, our pew is littered with crayons, bulletins, a doll, and a pen or two. She usually shifts from one end to the other end, takes a bathroom break halfway through, squirms on someone's lap for a while, and is generally very fidgety. Today, she wasn't slumping, lying down, squirming or restless. She just sat there. She followed along with the bulletin, and did the "Children's Activities". She was present in church, not just there, if that makes sense. That was pretty awesome. And I didn't feel like I had to do a clean sweep of our entire pew at the end...
This week we only have two NFB sessions. I have noticed that the further we get from the last one, the more her behavior deteriorates. That is supposed to get better as time goes on.
I think everyone around here has been feeling a lot of stress begin to melt away. Except maybe Gwyn who hasn't recognized the changes yet. She still gets angry at Amy quickly, because that is the way they have been interacting for forever... I need to have a little talk with her tomorrow, probably.
Overall, Yippee yay yay!!!
She's becoming fun to be around!
We did have a few incidents this weekend that weren't so good. She flew into a rage with her dad (who really wants his own pseudonym, so I'm going to call him Mike). I didn't quite catch what it was about, but she wound up in her room for a while. There have been some whiney times and defiant times, but almost all of them are resolved rather quickly. It's like she realizes it's immature halfway through.
Church has been a pretty squirmy place for Amy, historically. At our church, children sit through the service with the adults, and then go to Sunday School. Usually, by the end of the service, our pew is littered with crayons, bulletins, a doll, and a pen or two. She usually shifts from one end to the other end, takes a bathroom break halfway through, squirms on someone's lap for a while, and is generally very fidgety. Today, she wasn't slumping, lying down, squirming or restless. She just sat there. She followed along with the bulletin, and did the "Children's Activities". She was present in church, not just there, if that makes sense. That was pretty awesome. And I didn't feel like I had to do a clean sweep of our entire pew at the end...
This week we only have two NFB sessions. I have noticed that the further we get from the last one, the more her behavior deteriorates. That is supposed to get better as time goes on.
I think everyone around here has been feeling a lot of stress begin to melt away. Except maybe Gwyn who hasn't recognized the changes yet. She still gets angry at Amy quickly, because that is the way they have been interacting for forever... I need to have a little talk with her tomorrow, probably.
Overall, Yippee yay yay!!!
Friday, August 24, 2012
Getting There
Amy has been kind of funny the past two days or so. She keeps flip flopping between "old" behaviors and "new" behaviors.
She went to her appointment without fuss yesterday morning (even though she was late for school). She didn't want to get to her chair, and has to be cajoled every time, but the Good Doc pointed out that she needs time to warm up a bit. He was very patient. (Me, not so much, but I'm learning!)
Amy kept asking about how late to school she would be. I kept reassuring her that it would only be an hour, and that we have gotten the ok from her teacher, and that it will be ok. No panic fits, just repeated concern. As we were driving away she realized that she left her library book in the doctor's office. She got very upset, but calmed down pretty quickly.
She just seems to be developing a better perspective on problems. Hooray!
After school she came home and crashed on the couch as usual. We drove to the Noodle place, because I wanted to see how she would do at a restaurant, and because her dad just got back from being out of town for a few days.
And because I didn't feel like cooking...
Anyway, she screamed at Gwyn and Micah for being too loud in the car. She kept saying she was trying to take a nap and that she was really tired. Very grumpy.
Once we got some food in her, though, she cheered up and was <mostly> pleasant the rest of the night. She did her homework quickly and then she and Gwyn decided to play "Dance Class" and she taught Gwyn and Milo the grapevine step. They weren't too happy with her bossiness, but from what I can hear, Amy was behaving gently towards them (even if she was being bossy).
She's trying!
She went to her appointment without fuss yesterday morning (even though she was late for school). She didn't want to get to her chair, and has to be cajoled every time, but the Good Doc pointed out that she needs time to warm up a bit. He was very patient. (Me, not so much, but I'm learning!)
Amy kept asking about how late to school she would be. I kept reassuring her that it would only be an hour, and that we have gotten the ok from her teacher, and that it will be ok. No panic fits, just repeated concern. As we were driving away she realized that she left her library book in the doctor's office. She got very upset, but calmed down pretty quickly.
She just seems to be developing a better perspective on problems. Hooray!
After school she came home and crashed on the couch as usual. We drove to the Noodle place, because I wanted to see how she would do at a restaurant, and because her dad just got back from being out of town for a few days.
And because I didn't feel like cooking...
Anyway, she screamed at Gwyn and Micah for being too loud in the car. She kept saying she was trying to take a nap and that she was really tired. Very grumpy.
Once we got some food in her, though, she cheered up and was <mostly> pleasant the rest of the night. She did her homework quickly and then she and Gwyn decided to play "Dance Class" and she taught Gwyn and Milo the grapevine step. They weren't too happy with her bossiness, but from what I can hear, Amy was behaving gently towards them (even if she was being bossy).
She's trying!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Spaghetti
A few really good things today, after a rocky start.
Mornings are icky. I'm not a morning person. None of my kids are morning people. Yuck. This morning I have to get kids out the door by 8:15. Micah is up by 7:00, begging me to play "Super Mario Galaxy" so he can watch. Sorry bud, that's not happening!
I'm still trying to get the girls out of bed at 7:45. Gwyn is having an especially hard time this morning and keeps yelling at anybody who comes too close, not getting dressed, not eating breakfast, yadda, yadda, yadda. Mornings are prime scream time for Amy, and she kept sneaking back to bed after being dragged out. Nobody was happy this morning when the bus showed up, but the girls managed to get off to school, and Micah finally talked me into playing "Super Mario Galaxy".
After school was MUCH better, however, and we had a number of good things happen this evening.
1) Amy's third NFB treatment went smoothly. She doesn't like the gel they use to stick the sensors to her scalp, and at first refused to cooperate. Her defiance wasn't the same tearful, angry stubbornness that we have seen, however. It was more of a playful, "I dare you to make me" type of attitude. Still not really great, but not bad either. She sat through the session and did really well.
2) I told her as we were leaving that tomorrow we had to come back for a morning appointment, so she would be late to school. She does NOT like this plan. One of her big anxieties is getting behind at school, so to miss is embarrassing and problematic. She threw a temper tantrum in the car that lasted...
...until we got out of the parking lot. That's it! No 30 minute screaming fit! I was shocked.
3) Afterwards, we went to Gram's (God bless Gram) for spaghetti. She watched over her 1 year old cousin responsibly, was in a good mood, ATE all of her spaghetti without complaint, and when I asked her to pick up the toys so we could leave, she didn't throw a fit. She just...did it.
4) On our way home, Gwyn was singing in the backseat while Amy was trying to read. This usually sparks major problems. There have been many times I've had to pull over to let everyone in the car cool down, because I couldn't drive safely with all the fighting in the car. Today, Amy asked Gwyn to please be quiet. When Gwyn continued to sing, for the most part, Amy IGNORED HER. This was also shocking. I could tell by a few squirmy sounds coming from the back that she was annoyed, but she didn't scream or panic. She just dealt with it.
5) Finally, since hubs is out of town for a few days, I had to help with homework at the same time Micah had to go to bed. Gwyn is learning some first grade spelling words, and we were having such a pleasant night, I thought, "Why not?". I asked Amy to please help Gwyn with her homework. She said, "Sure!" and when I checked on them a little while later, Amy was in full blown teacher mode, working patiently with Gwyn and helping her write her letters the right way. Neither of them were frustrated.
So -- good day!
Here's the insanity:
I called the Good Doc's office today to get all 17 of Amy's remaining treatments on the calendar. I thought we might have a few weeks of during school appointments, followed by mostly after school sessions. Nope. Every single opening they had available until mid-October is during the school day. Her teachers are going to LOVE me. Yikes.
Mornings are icky. I'm not a morning person. None of my kids are morning people. Yuck. This morning I have to get kids out the door by 8:15. Micah is up by 7:00, begging me to play "Super Mario Galaxy" so he can watch. Sorry bud, that's not happening!
I'm still trying to get the girls out of bed at 7:45. Gwyn is having an especially hard time this morning and keeps yelling at anybody who comes too close, not getting dressed, not eating breakfast, yadda, yadda, yadda. Mornings are prime scream time for Amy, and she kept sneaking back to bed after being dragged out. Nobody was happy this morning when the bus showed up, but the girls managed to get off to school, and Micah finally talked me into playing "Super Mario Galaxy".
After school was MUCH better, however, and we had a number of good things happen this evening.
1) Amy's third NFB treatment went smoothly. She doesn't like the gel they use to stick the sensors to her scalp, and at first refused to cooperate. Her defiance wasn't the same tearful, angry stubbornness that we have seen, however. It was more of a playful, "I dare you to make me" type of attitude. Still not really great, but not bad either. She sat through the session and did really well.
2) I told her as we were leaving that tomorrow we had to come back for a morning appointment, so she would be late to school. She does NOT like this plan. One of her big anxieties is getting behind at school, so to miss is embarrassing and problematic. She threw a temper tantrum in the car that lasted...
...until we got out of the parking lot. That's it! No 30 minute screaming fit! I was shocked.
3) Afterwards, we went to Gram's (God bless Gram) for spaghetti. She watched over her 1 year old cousin responsibly, was in a good mood, ATE all of her spaghetti without complaint, and when I asked her to pick up the toys so we could leave, she didn't throw a fit. She just...did it.
4) On our way home, Gwyn was singing in the backseat while Amy was trying to read. This usually sparks major problems. There have been many times I've had to pull over to let everyone in the car cool down, because I couldn't drive safely with all the fighting in the car. Today, Amy asked Gwyn to please be quiet. When Gwyn continued to sing, for the most part, Amy IGNORED HER. This was also shocking. I could tell by a few squirmy sounds coming from the back that she was annoyed, but she didn't scream or panic. She just dealt with it.
5) Finally, since hubs is out of town for a few days, I had to help with homework at the same time Micah had to go to bed. Gwyn is learning some first grade spelling words, and we were having such a pleasant night, I thought, "Why not?". I asked Amy to please help Gwyn with her homework. She said, "Sure!" and when I checked on them a little while later, Amy was in full blown teacher mode, working patiently with Gwyn and helping her write her letters the right way. Neither of them were frustrated.
So -- good day!
Here's the insanity:
I called the Good Doc's office today to get all 17 of Amy's remaining treatments on the calendar. I thought we might have a few weeks of during school appointments, followed by mostly after school sessions. Nope. Every single opening they had available until mid-October is during the school day. Her teachers are going to LOVE me. Yikes.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Good Mood
Wow, Amy was in a good mood today. I picked her up from school and she came bouncing out talking about her chorus audition, she cooperatively went along to drop the other two at Gram's (God bless Gram) house. She was pleasant with our Good Doc and spoke about the kind of treatment she wanted. She went to her piano lesson without complaint.
Car rides are usually a pain in the rear end around here. They are prime times for sibling fights. Amy loves to kick the seat or pull on the seatbelt in front of her. All three try to talk and interrupt at the same time.
Today, for whatever reason, all three behaved beautifully in the car. They even sang a song together without fighting. After Amy's treatment, we went to dinner and they didn't whine. They laughed and talked like normal people.
So nice.
Today, Amy asked if she could play the video game style of NFB instead of watching the movie. She got to race helium balloons and cats against each other. The first time she tried, she came in last place, but the second time (and with a few adjustments by the Good Doc, I imagine) she won! She was really tickled, and it was hard for her to calm down enough to play the game again, but she pretty quickly got into the groove of it, and began winning most of her rounds. Towards the end she started to get a little squirmy, and her mood suddenly shifted. She didn't say anything, but you could tell she was ready to go. After she finished her last one, she jumped up and said, "I have to go to the bathroom!"
So that explains that.
Amy realized tonight at homework time that she had left her math book at school. Because we left early, she didn't think to grab it. This caused a short-lived panic that I was able to talk her out of by saying she could 1) do it first thing tomorrow morning when she got to school and 2) that I would e-mail her math teacher to let her know. A similar experience a year ago caused many many many tears.
Tomorrow is treatment number 3. So far so good!
Car rides are usually a pain in the rear end around here. They are prime times for sibling fights. Amy loves to kick the seat or pull on the seatbelt in front of her. All three try to talk and interrupt at the same time.
Today, for whatever reason, all three behaved beautifully in the car. They even sang a song together without fighting. After Amy's treatment, we went to dinner and they didn't whine. They laughed and talked like normal people.
So nice.
Today, Amy asked if she could play the video game style of NFB instead of watching the movie. She got to race helium balloons and cats against each other. The first time she tried, she came in last place, but the second time (and with a few adjustments by the Good Doc, I imagine) she won! She was really tickled, and it was hard for her to calm down enough to play the game again, but she pretty quickly got into the groove of it, and began winning most of her rounds. Towards the end she started to get a little squirmy, and her mood suddenly shifted. She didn't say anything, but you could tell she was ready to go. After she finished her last one, she jumped up and said, "I have to go to the bathroom!"
So that explains that.
Amy realized tonight at homework time that she had left her math book at school. Because we left early, she didn't think to grab it. This caused a short-lived panic that I was able to talk her out of by saying she could 1) do it first thing tomorrow morning when she got to school and 2) that I would e-mail her math teacher to let her know. A similar experience a year ago caused many many many tears.
Tomorrow is treatment number 3. So far so good!
Pride
Yesterday, Amy asked if I would like to play her piano song with her (there is a duet part for teacher). Would I??? Well, sure!!
Amy played through the song with me, and I said, "Wow! I'm so proud of you!"
This really rubbed her the wrong way. She started screaming and crying, "I don't want you to be proud! I don't like it when people are proud of me!"
Umm, what? Why not?
"When you are proud that gives me a weird feeling in my belly, and I don't like it!!!"
Not sure what to do with that one!
Her second NFB treatment is this afternoon...
Amy played through the song with me, and I said, "Wow! I'm so proud of you!"
This really rubbed her the wrong way. She started screaming and crying, "I don't want you to be proud! I don't like it when people are proud of me!"
Umm, what? Why not?
"When you are proud that gives me a weird feeling in my belly, and I don't like it!!!"
Not sure what to do with that one!
Her second NFB treatment is this afternoon...
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Baby Steps
Amy really loves music. So do I! I'm an early-childhood music teacher, so it's very important to me that my children are surrounded by a wide variety of music, and that they have the opportunity to learn an instrument.
We started Amy on violin when she was five, because she was begging, and because we thought it might be a good thing for her. She immediately clammed up, hated practicing, and had a miserable time of it. I was bummed, because she was actually pretty good! She has a great ear and took to the fingerings naturally and easily.
She said the worst part of violin for her was that she had to stand up straight to practice. My thoughts then were, "Big deal, kid! So you stand up -- it's not that bad!". Now I see her Sensory Integration problems probably had something to do with that.
Anyway, we let her quit violin, and she took a general music class with me. I was reluctant, because in the past when I am "teacher" it doesn't go over well.
This was no exception. She seemed to enjoy the class, but she was always wanting to sit on my lap, or lead the direction of activities. In fairness to all my (paying) students, I had to take her out.
About 8 months ago, we put her in private piano lessons. She gets to sit down! She has visual cues in the music and on the keyboard! All good things for her. Her teacher is a lovely lady who is calm and knowledgeable.
All started well. She was enthusiastic about playing the pieces she learned, she did her theory homework without complaint and she seemed to like her teacher and her lessons. Again, she's very good at music, so this all came quite naturally and easily for her.
Then, she had to learn a piece of music that took more than one easy run through to get right. I sat with her at the piano to show her how to play two notes at the same time, and she immediately WIGGED OUT. I tried to calmly and carefully show her how to take it slowly, one hand at a time, and she will get it. Half an hour later, she was still screaming about how she could never do it and it's IMPOSSIBLE!!!
This is pretty typical for Amy. As soon as something gets hard, she panics. As we started counseling a few months ago, I spoke to her piano teacher about lowering her expectations temporarily, and perhaps including some improvisation activities or composition exercises into her lesson. She was agreeable, and Amy has been enjoying the new focus to her lesson.
Here's the baby step:
Yesterday, I encouraged Amy to practice her new song her teacher gave her. I was worried, because it has some chords and some finger movements she hasn't played yet. Sure enough, two notes in, the tears and screaming started. I sat with her to help, and it was the same old, same old. After 15 minutes or so, I asked her if she would like to take a break and she got a really determined look on her face, screamed, "NO!" and sat down and played those notes.
They were loud, unmusical, the rhythm was all wrong, and it was beautiful. I have never seen Amy fight to figure something out.
Today, I asked her to play her song, and she sat down and whipped right through it. Now I'm trying to decide if I should teach her the correct rhythm, or if I should leave that up to her teacher...
We started Amy on violin when she was five, because she was begging, and because we thought it might be a good thing for her. She immediately clammed up, hated practicing, and had a miserable time of it. I was bummed, because she was actually pretty good! She has a great ear and took to the fingerings naturally and easily.
She said the worst part of violin for her was that she had to stand up straight to practice. My thoughts then were, "Big deal, kid! So you stand up -- it's not that bad!". Now I see her Sensory Integration problems probably had something to do with that.
Anyway, we let her quit violin, and she took a general music class with me. I was reluctant, because in the past when I am "teacher" it doesn't go over well.
This was no exception. She seemed to enjoy the class, but she was always wanting to sit on my lap, or lead the direction of activities. In fairness to all my (paying) students, I had to take her out.
About 8 months ago, we put her in private piano lessons. She gets to sit down! She has visual cues in the music and on the keyboard! All good things for her. Her teacher is a lovely lady who is calm and knowledgeable.
All started well. She was enthusiastic about playing the pieces she learned, she did her theory homework without complaint and she seemed to like her teacher and her lessons. Again, she's very good at music, so this all came quite naturally and easily for her.
Then, she had to learn a piece of music that took more than one easy run through to get right. I sat with her at the piano to show her how to play two notes at the same time, and she immediately WIGGED OUT. I tried to calmly and carefully show her how to take it slowly, one hand at a time, and she will get it. Half an hour later, she was still screaming about how she could never do it and it's IMPOSSIBLE!!!
This is pretty typical for Amy. As soon as something gets hard, she panics. As we started counseling a few months ago, I spoke to her piano teacher about lowering her expectations temporarily, and perhaps including some improvisation activities or composition exercises into her lesson. She was agreeable, and Amy has been enjoying the new focus to her lesson.
Here's the baby step:
Yesterday, I encouraged Amy to practice her new song her teacher gave her. I was worried, because it has some chords and some finger movements she hasn't played yet. Sure enough, two notes in, the tears and screaming started. I sat with her to help, and it was the same old, same old. After 15 minutes or so, I asked her if she would like to take a break and she got a really determined look on her face, screamed, "NO!" and sat down and played those notes.
They were loud, unmusical, the rhythm was all wrong, and it was beautiful. I have never seen Amy fight to figure something out.
Today, I asked her to play her song, and she sat down and whipped right through it. Now I'm trying to decide if I should teach her the correct rhythm, or if I should leave that up to her teacher...
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Soccer
Another crummy day for our Amy! Last night was movie night and it took a very long time for her to recognize that she needs to keep her body parts to herself. Sensory issues!!!!
This morning we all went to watch Micah play his first soccer game. She did not want to go AT ALL. After we placed her in the car kicking, screaming and hitting (this is an 8 year old girl, don't forget), she screamed the whole way to the park. She then refused to get out of the car, refused to put on her shoes and made quite a scene for herself.
During the whole game she sat in her chair and whined or moped.
So....ummmm....yeah.
1) Lately she has been showing a lot more aggression (especially towards me). She will hit and kick, when she doesn't get her way. I don't think this is a result of NFB, as it started a few days before her first treatment, but it has become a typical reaction from her.
2) Usually she doesn't throw huge fits in public. She will whine, but she is too embarrassed to scream like she does at home. That was a new thing today.
3) Her dad and I have been trying to figure out how to adjust our expectations of what she can and cannot do. She seems to be stuck at the emotional level of a 3 year old.
4) I'm getting increasingly concerned about our younger two children. Six year old Gwyn has always had a very sweet spirit, but she has been losing her temper more often and has started to show some defiant behavior. I think it is really hard for her to see her sister "get away" with some of the stuff she does, and she can't make accommodations for her. It's very confusing for her that our expectations for the two of them are different. Micah always rejoices when there is a night when Amy isn't around. This makes me sad.
By the way, 4 year old soccer is hilarious.
This morning we all went to watch Micah play his first soccer game. She did not want to go AT ALL. After we placed her in the car kicking, screaming and hitting (this is an 8 year old girl, don't forget), she screamed the whole way to the park. She then refused to get out of the car, refused to put on her shoes and made quite a scene for herself.
During the whole game she sat in her chair and whined or moped.
So....ummmm....yeah.
1) Lately she has been showing a lot more aggression (especially towards me). She will hit and kick, when she doesn't get her way. I don't think this is a result of NFB, as it started a few days before her first treatment, but it has become a typical reaction from her.
2) Usually she doesn't throw huge fits in public. She will whine, but she is too embarrassed to scream like she does at home. That was a new thing today.
3) Her dad and I have been trying to figure out how to adjust our expectations of what she can and cannot do. She seems to be stuck at the emotional level of a 3 year old.
4) I'm getting increasingly concerned about our younger two children. Six year old Gwyn has always had a very sweet spirit, but she has been losing her temper more often and has started to show some defiant behavior. I think it is really hard for her to see her sister "get away" with some of the stuff she does, and she can't make accommodations for her. It's very confusing for her that our expectations for the two of them are different. Micah always rejoices when there is a night when Amy isn't around. This makes me sad.
By the way, 4 year old soccer is hilarious.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Aftermath
I feel like I've been watching Amy's behavior like a hawk since her first NFB treatment. I've read elsewhere on the internets that the first difference people notice is in sleep, and Amy has gone to bed and gotten up easier for the past two nights. Whether it's because of NFB or because school started and she's tired, is hard to say.
Behavior-wise, we haven't noticed much of a difference. Actually, since starting counseling, her dad and I think that her behaviors have gotten worse. Possibly because until this summer, she really didn't see that anything she did was a problem? Now that we are focusing so much attention on it, she is freaking out a bit.
Anyway, after her treatment on Wednesday, she had an ok night. We were pretty busy and wound up eating out, and she did fine. She was really excited because a chewy/pencil topper/sensory thingamajig arrived for her in the mail and she got to chew on it all night.
Yesterday (Thursday) was a different story. She got off to school without too much fuss, but after she came home it was one fit after another. She screamed and threw a fit because she didn't want to go outside to play, because we didn't want her to eat "only" watermelon for dinner, because she couldn't find a pencil (that was a doozy), and because I wouldn't let her sit on her sister while we read a bedtime story (also -- doozy).
This morning she got up without too much fuss, but then immediately refused to drink the smoothie I made for breakfast, and panicked because she couldn't find a pair of matching socks. She was very demanding of attention, which did not go over well, since I had two others demanding my attention at the same time.
So -- she's off on the bus. I'm planning on sending an e-mail to her teacher next week, I hope, to fill her in on some of this. Usually, Amy does very well in school, though, so hopefully that won't be a problem.
What's weird to me is that between all of these temper tantrums, there are also times of great cooperation. Yesterday she helped her dad make a dessert with no problems, she was able to hold on a normal conversation at dinner very pleasantly. The mood shifts are just so disorienting!
Behavior-wise, we haven't noticed much of a difference. Actually, since starting counseling, her dad and I think that her behaviors have gotten worse. Possibly because until this summer, she really didn't see that anything she did was a problem? Now that we are focusing so much attention on it, she is freaking out a bit.
Anyway, after her treatment on Wednesday, she had an ok night. We were pretty busy and wound up eating out, and she did fine. She was really excited because a chewy/pencil topper/sensory thingamajig arrived for her in the mail and she got to chew on it all night.
Yesterday (Thursday) was a different story. She got off to school without too much fuss, but after she came home it was one fit after another. She screamed and threw a fit because she didn't want to go outside to play, because we didn't want her to eat "only" watermelon for dinner, because she couldn't find a pencil (that was a doozy), and because I wouldn't let her sit on her sister while we read a bedtime story (also -- doozy).
This morning she got up without too much fuss, but then immediately refused to drink the smoothie I made for breakfast, and panicked because she couldn't find a pair of matching socks. She was very demanding of attention, which did not go over well, since I had two others demanding my attention at the same time.
So -- she's off on the bus. I'm planning on sending an e-mail to her teacher next week, I hope, to fill her in on some of this. Usually, Amy does very well in school, though, so hopefully that won't be a problem.
What's weird to me is that between all of these temper tantrums, there are also times of great cooperation. Yesterday she helped her dad make a dessert with no problems, she was able to hold on a normal conversation at dinner very pleasantly. The mood shifts are just so disorienting!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Day 1
After yesterday's debacle, I was really nervous going into today's session. First of all, it's the first day of school! Our appointment was scheduled immediately after, so I had no idea what mood I was going to meet at parent pick-up.
Fortunately, Amy and Gwyn came bouncing out of the hallway with great excitement. After dropping off the other two to Gram's (God bless Gram), Amy said she would be willing to watch the movie we brought during her treatment.
We went in and she sat down with only minimal fuss. Yay!
She was even patient while there were numerous technical difficulties with wires and electrodes and DVD's. I thought my laptop was a pain in the butt. These machines are like something out of a science fiction novel -- I can understand why Amy is intimidated by them!
The Good Doc was able to show me which parts of Amy's brain needed attention. It is REALLY nice to see confirmation that something is eschew in there. We were able to see a big red blob that indicates sensory issues, an even bigger red blob that indicates emotional control/mood problems, and a super big blue blob that indicates anxiety and the inability to relax. Another blob showed her impulsivity.
Nailed it!
I was surprised, because some of the big red blobs were in places that would indicate learning problems or fluency issues. These are actually areas where Amy is advanced and does quite well. I have no idea what to make of that. The good doc didn't seem to think it was an issue.
I also can't remember if there were any blobs that indicated attention problems. I can't recall any. If there aren't, does that change the diagnosis of ADHD to something else? Perhaps a mood disorder?
Questions for next time, I suppose.
Anyway, it doesn't really matter at this point. The "diagnosis" is just a set of words used to indicate symptoms, right? We can see the brain to know what to treat, and that's the big issue.
So, Amy sat still and watched a cartoon. The program moved around quite a bit, getting larger and smaller, and brighter and darker. It made me a little dizzy trying to watch it. There was a column on the left side that indicated where her attention was. The idea is to keep the column low in order to keep the movie still. There were also numbers at the top that I have no idea about. At the end, the Good Doc looked at the numbers and said she earned 908 points, so I guess the higher the number the better?
She really did quite well sitting still, and we could see on her readouts at the end a trend that looked like something good was happening.
When we got in the car, she started to cry again, though. I asked if it was hard to watch the program, because it was so bouncy, and she said that it was so hard she eventually just started to watch the green bar. She said she held her breath every time it went high, but then became distressed that she couldn't keep doing that. She doesn't want to go back, is embarrassed and cranky.
After picking up the sibs she kept yelling at them to be quiet and overall was pretty cranky the rest of the night. She seemed very, very tired. After the first day back to school, plus NFB, I can't say I blame her! She did go to sleep easily -- so that's a plus! I am interested to see what her mood is like in the morning.
Our next appointment isn't until next Tuesday, so we have almost a full week to look anxiously for any behavior changes.
Mantra: It's too soon, it's too soon, it's too soon...
Fortunately, Amy and Gwyn came bouncing out of the hallway with great excitement. After dropping off the other two to Gram's (God bless Gram), Amy said she would be willing to watch the movie we brought during her treatment.
We went in and she sat down with only minimal fuss. Yay!
She was even patient while there were numerous technical difficulties with wires and electrodes and DVD's. I thought my laptop was a pain in the butt. These machines are like something out of a science fiction novel -- I can understand why Amy is intimidated by them!
The Good Doc was able to show me which parts of Amy's brain needed attention. It is REALLY nice to see confirmation that something is eschew in there. We were able to see a big red blob that indicates sensory issues, an even bigger red blob that indicates emotional control/mood problems, and a super big blue blob that indicates anxiety and the inability to relax. Another blob showed her impulsivity.
Nailed it!
I was surprised, because some of the big red blobs were in places that would indicate learning problems or fluency issues. These are actually areas where Amy is advanced and does quite well. I have no idea what to make of that. The good doc didn't seem to think it was an issue.
I also can't remember if there were any blobs that indicated attention problems. I can't recall any. If there aren't, does that change the diagnosis of ADHD to something else? Perhaps a mood disorder?
Questions for next time, I suppose.
Anyway, it doesn't really matter at this point. The "diagnosis" is just a set of words used to indicate symptoms, right? We can see the brain to know what to treat, and that's the big issue.
So, Amy sat still and watched a cartoon. The program moved around quite a bit, getting larger and smaller, and brighter and darker. It made me a little dizzy trying to watch it. There was a column on the left side that indicated where her attention was. The idea is to keep the column low in order to keep the movie still. There were also numbers at the top that I have no idea about. At the end, the Good Doc looked at the numbers and said she earned 908 points, so I guess the higher the number the better?
She really did quite well sitting still, and we could see on her readouts at the end a trend that looked like something good was happening.
When we got in the car, she started to cry again, though. I asked if it was hard to watch the program, because it was so bouncy, and she said that it was so hard she eventually just started to watch the green bar. She said she held her breath every time it went high, but then became distressed that she couldn't keep doing that. She doesn't want to go back, is embarrassed and cranky.
After picking up the sibs she kept yelling at them to be quiet and overall was pretty cranky the rest of the night. She seemed very, very tired. After the first day back to school, plus NFB, I can't say I blame her! She did go to sleep easily -- so that's a plus! I am interested to see what her mood is like in the morning.
Our next appointment isn't until next Tuesday, so we have almost a full week to look anxiously for any behavior changes.
Mantra: It's too soon, it's too soon, it's too soon...
Initial Qeeg
Yesterday I took Amy in for her Qeeg assessment. This gives the doc an opportunity to see where the problem spots in her brain lie.
Oh the drama!
Amy is very anxious. When she gets worried about something, she will act out however she needs to in order to defend herself.
In order to get a good reading, a patient has to sit still (problem 1) in a bright yellow skullcap (problem 2) that has weird looking holes in it (3). She has to wear clips on her ears (4). There are wires coming out all over the place (5). There is a weird gel that has to be inserted into the holes in the cap (6). She has to sit quietly for 3 minutes with eyes open (7) and then with eyes closed (8).
After much initial ado, the Good Doc and I were able to talk her into trying it out. Curiosity is a wonderful thing, and seeing brain waves on a screen was both terrifying and fascinating to her. Once she decided it wasn't too awful, she was able to make it through 5 of the 6 minutes before melting down.
We'll take it.
After we left, Amy cried in the car. She can't understand why we are doing this or how it could possibly help. She is mortified that she has these emotions she can't control, and that she needs professional help to deal with them.
The promise of an icee helped, and she was bouncing and smiling again by the time we picked up her siblings from Gram's house (God bless Gram).
Oh the drama!
Amy is very anxious. When she gets worried about something, she will act out however she needs to in order to defend herself.
In order to get a good reading, a patient has to sit still (problem 1) in a bright yellow skullcap (problem 2) that has weird looking holes in it (3). She has to wear clips on her ears (4). There are wires coming out all over the place (5). There is a weird gel that has to be inserted into the holes in the cap (6). She has to sit quietly for 3 minutes with eyes open (7) and then with eyes closed (8).
After much initial ado, the Good Doc and I were able to talk her into trying it out. Curiosity is a wonderful thing, and seeing brain waves on a screen was both terrifying and fascinating to her. Once she decided it wasn't too awful, she was able to make it through 5 of the 6 minutes before melting down.
We'll take it.
After we left, Amy cried in the car. She can't understand why we are doing this or how it could possibly help. She is mortified that she has these emotions she can't control, and that she needs professional help to deal with them.
The promise of an icee helped, and she was bouncing and smiling again by the time we picked up her siblings from Gram's house (God bless Gram).
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Introduction
My family is unique, creative and fun. We get complimented a lot on our free spirits, our creative energy, and our funny kids. I love that about us!
We also tend towards chaos. The house is a mess, budgets are...tricky..., career paths have been creatively laid. Life doesn't always work smoothly around here.
A few years ago, my wonderful husband was diagnosed with ADHD. This explained a lot for him! Since getting treatment, he has lost 30 pounds, gained a 50% increase in salary and a new job, and has spent many hours on self-reflection and life goals. I'm so proud of him! He has been struggling with the decision to stay on medication, however, because the side effects can be bothersome, and they are expensive!
We also have 3 kiddos. This blog is centered around our 8 year old, "Amy". She has always been high maintenance. As a baby, she wouldn't sleep unless someone was holding her. We tried "ferberizing" her at around 9 months. She was crying in her room from 9:00pm until 1:30 in the morning. It was awful. She wound up sleeping in our bed with us until she was 3 years old. (We became a big fan of Dr. Sears in the meantime!). She would also throw temper tantrums at the drop of a hat, squirm and wiggle constantly and was basically "wired" all the time.
This past June, we finally recognized that these were behaviors she was not growing out of. We decided to see a counselor for some advice. After a number of assessments, she was diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiance, and Sensory Integration problems (sensory seeking). At home, I have also noticed a lot of problems with Generalized Anxiety that didn't really show up on the assessments, but are clearly part of her make up.
Our doc is one of very few in this area who specialize in Neurofeedback Therapy. I'm not going to describe it here -- feel free to Google it if you need to. I'll wait.
I'm not too thrilled about the idea of medicating my little girl. Especially since the side effects of medication (weight loss, anxiety, sleep disturbances, etc) are problems she already deals with. Neurofeedback looks to us like a great option.
She goes in on Tuesday for her first brain scan. I am very interested to see what it shows! Wednesday she begins her first treatment.
My goal for this blog is to put down my impressions as we go through the relatively long course of NFT treatment. I tend to live in the moment, and I will find it helpful in the coming months to read back through what we are dealing with, so I can be more objective in thinking about how this treatment is working for her.
If you are along for the ride, have fun! I'm changing names, because one day my kids will Google themselves and I don't want to embarrass them. Other than that, I plan on being completely honest.
Here are some of the behaviors I hope NFT can address:
We also tend towards chaos. The house is a mess, budgets are...tricky..., career paths have been creatively laid. Life doesn't always work smoothly around here.
A few years ago, my wonderful husband was diagnosed with ADHD. This explained a lot for him! Since getting treatment, he has lost 30 pounds, gained a 50% increase in salary and a new job, and has spent many hours on self-reflection and life goals. I'm so proud of him! He has been struggling with the decision to stay on medication, however, because the side effects can be bothersome, and they are expensive!
We also have 3 kiddos. This blog is centered around our 8 year old, "Amy". She has always been high maintenance. As a baby, she wouldn't sleep unless someone was holding her. We tried "ferberizing" her at around 9 months. She was crying in her room from 9:00pm until 1:30 in the morning. It was awful. She wound up sleeping in our bed with us until she was 3 years old. (We became a big fan of Dr. Sears in the meantime!). She would also throw temper tantrums at the drop of a hat, squirm and wiggle constantly and was basically "wired" all the time.
This past June, we finally recognized that these were behaviors she was not growing out of. We decided to see a counselor for some advice. After a number of assessments, she was diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiance, and Sensory Integration problems (sensory seeking). At home, I have also noticed a lot of problems with Generalized Anxiety that didn't really show up on the assessments, but are clearly part of her make up.
Our doc is one of very few in this area who specialize in Neurofeedback Therapy. I'm not going to describe it here -- feel free to Google it if you need to. I'll wait.
I'm not too thrilled about the idea of medicating my little girl. Especially since the side effects of medication (weight loss, anxiety, sleep disturbances, etc) are problems she already deals with. Neurofeedback looks to us like a great option.
She goes in on Tuesday for her first brain scan. I am very interested to see what it shows! Wednesday she begins her first treatment.
My goal for this blog is to put down my impressions as we go through the relatively long course of NFT treatment. I tend to live in the moment, and I will find it helpful in the coming months to read back through what we are dealing with, so I can be more objective in thinking about how this treatment is working for her.
If you are along for the ride, have fun! I'm changing names, because one day my kids will Google themselves and I don't want to embarrass them. Other than that, I plan on being completely honest.
Here are some of the behaviors I hope NFT can address:
- Temper Tantrums A: Amy will throw a major fit for seemingly random reasons. She is not able to recognize a small problem ("someone is standing in my way!!!") from a major catastrophe ("The house is on fire!!!")
- Temper Tantrums B: Amy is also prone to frustration. If she has to work to figure something out, she panics and throws a major fit. So far, in school, she has always done quite well because she is really very smart. I'm worried as she goes into fourth grade this year that the stakes will be higher and she will have more trouble getting by without focus.
- Temper Tantrums C: Amy can't stand not being in control of a situation. When her dad or I ask her to do something that is outside of her immediate plan, all hell breaks loose. Every time. It's exhausting.
- Sibling Relationships: Because Amy is screaming a lot, likes to be in control, and can't really recognize that people aren't all out to get her, her relationships with her 6 year old sister (Gwyn) and 4 year old brother (Micah) are strained. She can be very bossy when they play together, and sometimes she is downright mean.
- Sensory Stuff: Amy is a classic "Sensory Seeker". I'm not sure how much NFT can address this, but she squirms, chews, bounces, etc. all the time. It is most problematic when she is sitting with someone in the family, because she wants to "cuddle" which usually turns into digging her feet into someone's side, squirming around on someone's lap, or just generally not being aware of other's personal space. She is also often very sensitive to sounds, and will shout at Gwyn and Micah to be quiet, when they are already playing relatively quietly.
- Food Stuff: Again, I have no idea if NFT can help with this, but Amy's diet pretty much consists of fruit and bread. She refuses to try new foods.
- Anxiety: Amy got really worried about a school project last spring and wound up staying home from school "sick" for three days. On the third of these days, she was actually throwing up as the bus arrived. She is terrified of being embarrassed at school, or of not completing a project. A lot of this makes sense, now that we understand ADHD is at the root of things. She has never really had problems at school, so I'm sure it's very stressful for her to hold it all together while she's there! She will also worry about getting fat, getting zits, getting a routine vaccination in two years, etc. It kind of goes back to her whole problems with perspective, I guess.
- Persistance: One of the problems I have noticed with Amy is that she is so afraid of failing at something, she won't try. This is most evident during piano practice times. If she has a new song in front of her, no amount of gentle tutoring can help her see that by practicing the unfamiliar notes a few times, she will learn to play the song. With her, everything is either "you know it or you don't" and she can't seem to recognize that there is a process to learning. She is also a fantastic little writer, and has a ton of stories she started on our computer or in notebooks in her room. She loves to create abstract art and she loves to improvise songs on the piano. Learning an actual song, finishing a story or creating a planned out picture is pretty much impossible for her.
That more or less covers it. It seems like a pretty lengthy list, but everything is, in it's own way, related. In my mind ADHD has caused so much anxiety that she's constantly under a great deal of stress and acts out at the people she feels safest around.
And she has sensory issues.
And she has sensory issues.
I love my baby girl to pieces, and I certainly don't want any random readers out there thinking that this is the only side to her! These are just the behaviors I am chronicling here for my own sanity as we try out this therapy.
If it works, I'm pretty sure I'm going to line up the rest of the family for some as well. I know we could all benefit!
So, I'll hopefully update more on Tuesday. Until then,
Cheerio!
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