Baby Steps

Amy really loves music. So do I! I'm an early-childhood music teacher, so it's very important to me that my children are surrounded by a wide variety of music, and that they have the opportunity to learn an instrument.

We started Amy on violin when she was five, because she was begging, and because we thought it might be a good thing for her. She immediately clammed up, hated practicing, and had a miserable time of it. I was bummed, because she was actually pretty good! She has a great ear and took to the fingerings naturally and easily.

She said the worst part of violin for her was that she had to stand up straight to practice. My thoughts then were, "Big deal, kid! So you stand up -- it's not that bad!". Now I see her Sensory Integration problems probably had something to do with that.

Anyway, we let her quit violin, and she took a general music class with me. I was reluctant, because in the past when I am "teacher" it doesn't go over well.

This was no exception. She seemed to enjoy the class, but she was always wanting to sit on my lap, or lead the direction of activities. In fairness to all my (paying) students, I had to take her out.

About 8 months ago, we put her in private piano lessons. She gets to sit down! She has visual cues in the music and on the keyboard! All good things for her. Her teacher is a lovely lady who is calm and knowledgeable.

All started well. She was enthusiastic about playing the pieces she learned, she did her theory homework without complaint and she seemed to like her teacher and her lessons. Again, she's very good at music, so this all came quite naturally and easily for her.

Then, she had to learn a piece of music that took more than one easy run through to get right. I sat with her at the piano to show her how to play two notes at the same time, and she immediately WIGGED OUT. I tried to calmly and carefully show her how to take it slowly, one hand at a time, and she will get it. Half an hour later, she was still screaming about how she could never do it and it's IMPOSSIBLE!!!

This is pretty typical for Amy. As soon as something gets hard, she panics. As we started counseling a few months ago, I spoke to her piano teacher about lowering her expectations temporarily, and perhaps including some improvisation activities or composition exercises into her lesson. She was agreeable, and Amy has been enjoying the new focus to her lesson.

Here's the baby step:

Yesterday, I encouraged Amy to practice her new song her teacher gave her. I was worried, because it has some chords and some finger movements she hasn't played yet. Sure enough, two notes in, the tears and screaming started. I sat with her to help, and it was the same old, same old. After 15 minutes or so, I asked her if she would like to take a break and she got a really determined look on her face, screamed, "NO!" and sat down and played those notes.

They were loud, unmusical, the rhythm was all wrong, and it was beautiful. I have never seen Amy fight to figure something out.

Today, I asked her to play her song, and she sat down and whipped right through it. Now I'm trying to decide if I should teach her the correct rhythm, or if I should leave that up to her teacher...