We also tend towards chaos. The house is a mess, budgets are...tricky..., career paths have been creatively laid. Life doesn't always work smoothly around here.
A few years ago, my wonderful husband was diagnosed with ADHD. This explained a lot for him! Since getting treatment, he has lost 30 pounds, gained a 50% increase in salary and a new job, and has spent many hours on self-reflection and life goals. I'm so proud of him! He has been struggling with the decision to stay on medication, however, because the side effects can be bothersome, and they are expensive!
We also have 3 kiddos. This blog is centered around our 8 year old, "Amy". She has always been high maintenance. As a baby, she wouldn't sleep unless someone was holding her. We tried "ferberizing" her at around 9 months. She was crying in her room from 9:00pm until 1:30 in the morning. It was awful. She wound up sleeping in our bed with us until she was 3 years old. (We became a big fan of Dr. Sears in the meantime!). She would also throw temper tantrums at the drop of a hat, squirm and wiggle constantly and was basically "wired" all the time.
This past June, we finally recognized that these were behaviors she was not growing out of. We decided to see a counselor for some advice. After a number of assessments, she was diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiance, and Sensory Integration problems (sensory seeking). At home, I have also noticed a lot of problems with Generalized Anxiety that didn't really show up on the assessments, but are clearly part of her make up.
Our doc is one of very few in this area who specialize in Neurofeedback Therapy. I'm not going to describe it here -- feel free to Google it if you need to. I'll wait.
I'm not too thrilled about the idea of medicating my little girl. Especially since the side effects of medication (weight loss, anxiety, sleep disturbances, etc) are problems she already deals with. Neurofeedback looks to us like a great option.
She goes in on Tuesday for her first brain scan. I am very interested to see what it shows! Wednesday she begins her first treatment.
My goal for this blog is to put down my impressions as we go through the relatively long course of NFT treatment. I tend to live in the moment, and I will find it helpful in the coming months to read back through what we are dealing with, so I can be more objective in thinking about how this treatment is working for her.
If you are along for the ride, have fun! I'm changing names, because one day my kids will Google themselves and I don't want to embarrass them. Other than that, I plan on being completely honest.
Here are some of the behaviors I hope NFT can address:
- Temper Tantrums A: Amy will throw a major fit for seemingly random reasons. She is not able to recognize a small problem ("someone is standing in my way!!!") from a major catastrophe ("The house is on fire!!!")
- Temper Tantrums B: Amy is also prone to frustration. If she has to work to figure something out, she panics and throws a major fit. So far, in school, she has always done quite well because she is really very smart. I'm worried as she goes into fourth grade this year that the stakes will be higher and she will have more trouble getting by without focus.
- Temper Tantrums C: Amy can't stand not being in control of a situation. When her dad or I ask her to do something that is outside of her immediate plan, all hell breaks loose. Every time. It's exhausting.
- Sibling Relationships: Because Amy is screaming a lot, likes to be in control, and can't really recognize that people aren't all out to get her, her relationships with her 6 year old sister (Gwyn) and 4 year old brother (Micah) are strained. She can be very bossy when they play together, and sometimes she is downright mean.
- Sensory Stuff: Amy is a classic "Sensory Seeker". I'm not sure how much NFT can address this, but she squirms, chews, bounces, etc. all the time. It is most problematic when she is sitting with someone in the family, because she wants to "cuddle" which usually turns into digging her feet into someone's side, squirming around on someone's lap, or just generally not being aware of other's personal space. She is also often very sensitive to sounds, and will shout at Gwyn and Micah to be quiet, when they are already playing relatively quietly.
- Food Stuff: Again, I have no idea if NFT can help with this, but Amy's diet pretty much consists of fruit and bread. She refuses to try new foods.
- Anxiety: Amy got really worried about a school project last spring and wound up staying home from school "sick" for three days. On the third of these days, she was actually throwing up as the bus arrived. She is terrified of being embarrassed at school, or of not completing a project. A lot of this makes sense, now that we understand ADHD is at the root of things. She has never really had problems at school, so I'm sure it's very stressful for her to hold it all together while she's there! She will also worry about getting fat, getting zits, getting a routine vaccination in two years, etc. It kind of goes back to her whole problems with perspective, I guess.
- Persistance: One of the problems I have noticed with Amy is that she is so afraid of failing at something, she won't try. This is most evident during piano practice times. If she has a new song in front of her, no amount of gentle tutoring can help her see that by practicing the unfamiliar notes a few times, she will learn to play the song. With her, everything is either "you know it or you don't" and she can't seem to recognize that there is a process to learning. She is also a fantastic little writer, and has a ton of stories she started on our computer or in notebooks in her room. She loves to create abstract art and she loves to improvise songs on the piano. Learning an actual song, finishing a story or creating a planned out picture is pretty much impossible for her.
That more or less covers it. It seems like a pretty lengthy list, but everything is, in it's own way, related. In my mind ADHD has caused so much anxiety that she's constantly under a great deal of stress and acts out at the people she feels safest around.
And she has sensory issues.
And she has sensory issues.
I love my baby girl to pieces, and I certainly don't want any random readers out there thinking that this is the only side to her! These are just the behaviors I am chronicling here for my own sanity as we try out this therapy.
If it works, I'm pretty sure I'm going to line up the rest of the family for some as well. I know we could all benefit!
So, I'll hopefully update more on Tuesday. Until then,
Cheerio!
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